I bumped into my mate from school days last week and asked him how he's doing. "I prepare meals for drunks, drug addicts and hobos" "Oh so you work at a charity shelter then? " "No I'm head chef at the local Wetherspoons"
@LukaB Onions A friend of mine said onions are the only food that can make you cry, so I hit him over the head with a watermelon. 25 words
@xxcornflakexx Chocolate Okay so i am a self confessed choco-holic, so while browsing the sweets section in my local supermarket I came across a Cadbury bars that had been put in its wrapper upside down. 88 words
@ulstersoldier Sweets "I love Eminem!" "I like Skittles better" "No, the rapper you idiot" "You're the idiot, what's so good about a M&M wrapper?. 22 words
@Iamlaura_marie Hello My Name Is Laura And I Am A Chocoholic Why oh why is it so hard to exert self control around chocolate. Is it bad that I would rather eat a left over easter egg (thats not mine) than go downstairs to get proper food??. 36 words
@jawk My Sister She said she'd slap me after that spaghetti joke. Should've seen her face when I drove pasta... 17 words
@sammiej Addicted To Creme Eggs Has come to the conclusion that Creme Eggs are scarily addictive!. 66 words
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