you tweeted that you wanted to watch 'The Avengers' again. I thought it'd be nice to watch it with you. sitting beside you this time, haha. (:
I rushed home and showered so that you won't feel repulsive of me. I got to the theatre just in time.
you pinched me a few times because I made fun of you. I felt happy. it was the closest I got to you.
we were about to go for dinner - somewhere near your place. but then your family were all at home waiting for you. I thought that was nice.
you have such a beautiful family that it appeals to me. I want that; I want that with you.
so, dinner got cancelled. I thought you'd let me send you home at least. initially you did. then you put me in such a bind that I couldn't ask you for it.
"there are times when I want to go home alone. a few times actually," that was what you said.
if that was true, then you've been very kind with me.
that hurts.
was I such a friend that you had to be kind with me? was I really that shallow that there was nothing you found in me? and it made me feel like…the closest word I can come up with is nothing. I had initially, and wrongly apparently, thought that you enjoyed the times when I sent you back home. because I did - top three best things of my life that I could do every moment and still wish for more.
the way you walk when you're with me is different as well, I realised. if you like a certain someone, you'd walk with the other person, side by side.
most of the time I'm out with you, you either lag behind or just move forward. very rarely do we walk on the same pace. maybe it's just normal and I'm over thinking things. I wouldn't know…
so now, I'm lost. I feel lost.
I hope you got home safe. with no one to harass you.
you're a wonderfully beautiful girl. I hope people appreciate you more. I hope your next boyfriend loves you and cares for you more than anyone does.
My PIC deserves that; she deserves the best that the world has to offer.
I realise where I stand. I harbour no more hopes now. I will be how you need me to be (:
I won't input anymore thoughts. it's creepy for you I think.
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