Feelings

Today I was inspired by the late Esther Earl to make a post just talking about my feelings. She said that it was great just to get them out there, and see them written down in front of you, so here goes.

First and foremost, I feel scared. I feel scared about the future and what it holds, what will happen when I leave school, when I move out. What happens to my family in the years to come. I feel nervous about my health, because I've been sick a lot in the past year and a half and it's been a really hard time for me, both physically and emotionally. I feel ashamed that I often feel sorry for myself, even though I know there are people out there in much more difficult situations than myself. I also feel like I'm wasting my life lying around doing nothing, when I could be out doing something that matters. I feel sad that my friends are going to go their separate ways, but I feel happy that I've got to spend time with them in the past and the present. I feel anxious about the new situations I'm going to find myself in when I leave school and go out into the world. I feel worried that I'm going to be stuck here for the rest of my life. I feel like there's so much I could do, but I'm too shy to do it. I feel ignored by people, and like nobody really cares about what I have to say. I feel tired and sick sometimes because of my illness, and upset because nobody truly understands what it is that I'm going through. I feel weak. I feel like I'm pretending that I don't care what people think, when I actually kind of do. I feel bored with life, because I'm wasting it, and I know that I'm wasting it. But I feel motivated to work hard and achieve my goals. And finally, I feel regretful of things that have happened in the past, but thankful that they've made me the person that I am today.

And that's pretty much it. I encourage all of you to make a post describing your feelings. Link it to me and I will read it, because it's so important that someone is there for you <3.