Monsters In My Head

Clawing away at the inside of my skull, they dance happily; screeching in elation, overjoyed at the pain they cause me, they pace loudly in small circles screaming for me to listen to them and screaming for me to let them free. I scratch my scalp, hold my head in both my hands and the water begins to seep from behind my eyelids. Those tiny little buggers have got to me after breaking down the walls I'd built in my mind over time yet still I squeeze my eyes shut tighter and clasp my head even harder. I can't accept that they're there, I really wish they'd just disappear. As they claw, scream, laugh and clap away my heart feels heavier and the pain feels stronger. All those years of being there; putting them before myself, covering their backs, crying for them and praying for them... For what? To have every tiny little thing thrown back in my face, to be made to feel unappreciated and worthless and even now, a simple five letter word can't be said?!? Oh why are they reminding me of everything I'm trying so hard to forget. God eased my suffering, that doesn't mean to say it's disappeared however. The pain is still there and the love is still there for those strangers in my life who became my family. STOP IT. Stop! I can't take it anymore, my head will explode with all these little bastards in there. How did so many get in there in the first place? When did it come to this? When did the sounds that once used to comfort me turn from the voices in my head to the monsters in my head? I need to escape the prison of my own mind.