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A Letter To My Dad

Dear Dad

I hope you are well and the years have been kinder to you than they have been to me. Only because I couldn't wish ill on one of my parents, despite how devoid of common sense they are.

Your actions have been one of absolute heathenry, you put your new wife before your first child. You put your new child before your first, did you not say I brought light to your life? Your recent actions belied everything, yet I still stood by you when the world came crashing down on you for your life of poor decisions. To thank me you condemned me to slavery, you condemned me to scraping a life from scrap around me, the remnants from the great crash, the great fall from grace. Everyday is the same, little sustenance for my mind and my life. The people in my life as wonderful as they are cannot fix something so beautifully broken, I commend them for trying, God knows they have pushed themselves to the limit. But when it should have been you, my father, to ride in an rescue his progeny from the shit and dirt, to clean and nurse me back to health. But no I still sit here, far away from anyone who has loved me, known me anyone who truly cared for me. You promised me the world and then spat in my face, again and again.

What hurts the most is that my spirit has not broken, at least not fully, and so I would still take you back if you would but own up and be a man and claim your child. Claim me before it is too late. Before all I have for you is resentment and detest. Before you rob my future children of a loving grandfather. The loving and caring man you once were, who is in there deep inside.

I am strong I have learnt to be very strong, but the price has been steep very steep indeed. Those around me see the strong charismatic well spoken good looking me. They don't see me breaking inside. They don't see how how a little set back for others is train wreck for me.

Your still loving child,

Freez

@Freez

I consider my mind to be perceptive and quick witted. Slicing through the nonsense of life to sink my teeth into the truth behind it all. I hope you enjoy my perceptions of the truth of life and love and everything else :)

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Comments & Feedback (21)

Heartbreaking

@PurpleKel87 thanx for reading, and yeah it is a bit disappointing but life moves on :)

@Freez Well said.

Wow, that really moves me.

@DaddyDooDahs well it was meant to inspire abdicate the feeling of loneliness in myself an others, thanx for reading :)

Very powerful. I really relate to this, but to my mom. Hope you get through this as best you can. X

@spark awe thanx so much, yeah it's really important to be at peace with your parents. Its really good to know I'm not alone in this :) x

I haven't spoken to her really for about 7 years. And it's better that way - especially since I am about to bring children in the world... She won't get to see them grow up, which is sad, but it's life.

I

@spark I admit it's good that estranged children don't feel alone or isolated bit it is a true tragedy that we are estranged I may not be that young anymore but I still need my parents in my life of not for me but the children I hope to have one day... I'm so sorry to hear that, I hope your children have the best childhood conceivable :)

@freez very true. My mom was v abusive and abandoned us, so it's more that I have to protect my children from her as I couldn't have them physically/psychologically harmed as I was. But I'm at peace, I think that's what's important.

@spark peace is definitely important, I admit I still am not completely at peace. I would encourage you to be resistant toward feeling resentment towards her and more compassion. Parents and indeed all adults have flaws and have thier own issues to deal with. For instance my father was abandoned by his father an that has obviously weighed heavy on his heart and psychi however that does not excuse his appalling behaviour. But to truly understand something is to truly be at peace with it as someone once said.

@Freez talk to me about this tomorrow. I want to understand

@serenityeverard it's not really important anymore. Im getting over it really, I'm not one to voice my pain. This was my way of letting go...

I don't care

This really touched my heart, it resonates with me and the relationship with my parents. I'm glad you were able to move on and find peace from the pain. :)

@Bethibella thank you, that is very gracious of you. Well I could only write it when I had come to terms with my conflicting past. I hope you found an answer or two in this post.

This is beautifully sad but I love the heart felt passion in this

@aleishagayle20 haha one reflective lonely night in May.

@Freez I've had a many of those this was a beautiful piece I wrote a heartfelt one to my siblings called a sisters tears something they will never see but had to write it I know the feeling of needing to express 😊

@aleishagayle20 I know, sometimes it's best to share in private. If that makes any sense :) thank you for reading, I hope that my writings help soothe your soul. This is why I am find of this app, I read other people funny quirky or heartfelt words and I feel more amongst my kin.

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