I threw up all night
And it felt good, right,
Somehow like I was
Purging myself of
The laughter I'd allowed,
The smile that had
Weakly crawled across
My lips,
I had, for a moment,
Stopped thinking about you,
I'd forgotten to miss you,
Just for five or six
Heartbeats, but
It was enough,
Guilt, hate, pitiful longing
And crushing pain
Collapsed upon me,
An avalanche of you,
Of memories,
And I was sick all night.
ยฉ Kim H. 6th September 2012
Your feedback helps Irrational_Kimmi understand what's working
We're all mad here... All work is mine unless otherwise stated. ~ Instagram: @irrational_kimmi ~ Kik: irrational_kimmi #projecthumanity
Actions cannot be undone, words cannot be unsaid. There is an ineloquence to her silence, it is loud and it is blunt.
You use to be my world, everywhere I looked I saw you. Now that you've left what will I do. How do I get up and remember to breathe. How do I open my eyes and continue to see.
Painful in my soul. My heart threatens my brain. I'm lost and unknown. I can't find my home. You tore me to shreds. Left me in the dust. So I could just lay there. For the rest of my life. And die.
Remember me. I'm the girl you saved from falling. The girl you called a sister.
The light streams in. A noise screams through the silence; It didn't wake me. Insomnia has taken your place, I lie with it in bed at night. No sleep in which to dream; Maybe a blessing in disguise.
No why's. No lies. No cries. We tried. You lied. I hide. You take. You fake. I hate. I'm numb. I'm stunned. I'm done. So wrong. For long. All gone. I seethe. Can't breathe. You leave. I choke.
Time won't abate it I always knew I wouldn't be able to escape it Its cold fingers Clutching me in desperation I begin to lose all sensation Bitterness clouding my mind My past, Still so well...
[S O N G] You left, You left, Yeah you left. Left for another life, Left for a better life.
@leelee101 @RichWithey I'm alright, I'm just ill now too! I don't think it's really connected, I dunno maybe it's just everything getting on top of me. And Rich - thanks, I'll try. It's weird because it hurts to think about him but I almost don't want to not think about him ๐๐๐
@Irrational_Kimmi you'll be ok hunny. Like I said, we've all got wet shoulders, but we do have two of 'em... ๐โค๐
Oh I'm with Rich on this - like the words, not the situation. Sounds horrid, perhaps you've caught a bug? Don't feel guilty, just because you've not thought of him constantly doesn't mean you love or miss him any less. ๐๐๐
I agree with rich and nic, don't feel guilty even if your not actively thinking about him he's still in your sub conscience don't be so hard on yourself babe...it will get easier, would he want you to be so miserable? I bet if he was there he'd kick you into shape, I know it's a struggle but try and be the girl that he's thinking about in his head big hugs hope you feel better soon xx๐๐๐๐
Want to join the conversation? Sign in to leave a comment.