I threw up all night
And it felt good, right,
Somehow like I was
Purging myself of
The laughter I'd allowed,
The smile that had
Weakly crawled across
My lips,
I had, for a moment,
Stopped thinking about you,
I'd forgotten to miss you,
Just for five or six
Heartbeats, but
It was enough,
Guilt, hate, pitiful longing
And crushing pain
Collapsed upon me,
An avalanche of you,
Of memories,
And I was sick all night.
ยฉ Kim H. 6th September 2012
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Actions cannot be undone, words cannot be unsaid. There is an ineloquence to her silence, it is loud and it is blunt.
You use to be my world, everywhere I looked I saw you. Now that you've left what will I do. How do I get up and remember to breathe. How do I open my eyes and continue to see.
[S O N G] You left, You left, Yeah you left. Left for another life, Left for a better life.
I look into you loving eyes, As you slowly fall asleep, Why is it, my love dies, While all others weep.
Darker, darker, Sinister twister, Don't think about me, A long forgotten mister. You said it was fine, Turned away, slipped through my heart.
(Don't read if you are having a great Christmas). Fuck christmas. Two thousand and twelve. Matter of fact the whole year. And all it involved. Given everything. Without asking nor expecting.
I stare into the blackness, Unable to sleep. My heart misses you too much. Like a knife stuck in me, deep. I stare into the blackness, My eyes sore and tired, but.
Losing the person you love is always the most pain you'll ever experience, Your life suddenly being turned into something it never was. The aching longing and loneliness in your empty chest.
@leelee101 @RichWithey I'm alright, I'm just ill now too! I don't think it's really connected, I dunno maybe it's just everything getting on top of me. And Rich - thanks, I'll try. It's weird because it hurts to think about him but I almost don't want to not think about him ๐๐๐
@Irrational_Kimmi you'll be ok hunny. Like I said, we've all got wet shoulders, but we do have two of 'em... ๐โค๐
Oh I'm with Rich on this - like the words, not the situation. Sounds horrid, perhaps you've caught a bug? Don't feel guilty, just because you've not thought of him constantly doesn't mean you love or miss him any less. ๐๐๐
I agree with rich and nic, don't feel guilty even if your not actively thinking about him he's still in your sub conscience don't be so hard on yourself babe...it will get easier, would he want you to be so miserable? I bet if he was there he'd kick you into shape, I know it's a struggle but try and be the girl that he's thinking about in his head big hugs hope you feel better soon xx๐๐๐๐
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