British

@Noonington

Oh, Pie!

I feel like the plural of Opuss should be Opi. You know, so you could shout: "Wow. Look at my oh-pie!" It sounds like you've been distracted by a certain sweet dessert mid-sentence..

@TheOneThatGotAway

Oh God! Change Everything At The Last Minute Then!

My step mum said we were having gammon egg and home made chips for dinner so I calculated at lunch today how much would be 500 cal's and how much exercise I would have to do to burn it off but then...

@kariss

Fake Tan

There is a fine line between tanned and looking like you rolled in Cheese Doritos..

@KatF

It's chilly outside so I'm making chilli..

@zooandroo

German Sausage

Jokes about German sausages are the wurst..

@benaken

Doggy Pops

Its funny when my dogs blow off, it always makes them jump. I thought I had just received a text message but realised it wasn't my phones vibrations!. Smells like Chicken.

@finnthehuman

Noodle Joke

What do you call a fake noodle. An impasta..

@JoshSorensen

Favorite Type Of Biscuit?

My personal favorite would be Maryland Cookies ❤ what's your favorites. .