I've often thought of what I'd give
To change the way I feel
They say they'd give an arm or leg
But clichés just aren't real.
Self pity is an easy route
And one I like to take
To change the way I feel; would stop
My life from being fake.
I'd give my money, give my youth
To start my life anew
I'd rip my DNA apart
To become like you.
When I say 'you', I mean the person
I want to become
Yet that won't happen, ever, so
I'll live my days out: numb.
Your feedback helps Nom understand what's working
Life's a mystery.
This isn't me. I was Mr positivity. I used to find the silver linings, Now I let shit get to me. This isn't me. I'm just not the same. Something inside has broken free, And left my brain in pain.
Fill this crystal glass with something more than ice. Give me the will, the unsuspecting courage, the confidence. To live my life. Let me understand, am I lined up behind the damned.
One of those moods Those god-awful moods I'm not knowing much of everything And I'm questioning Every Single Thing I've ever known Laying here blaring music Who's soft touch always felt just a...
Now, from these eyes Stream rivers of broken Hymns, troubled thoughts And shattered dreams; Crippled soul shackled by The shadows of your falsity, Tormented with thorns of Deviousness and pretense.
Should I paper over cracks. Or let them open wide. Shall I bottle all my secrets. And place them to one side. Should I stay above the ground. Or welcome the abyss. Shall I aim at my life's target.
For tonight I wish upon the stars in a sky that shimmers blanketed with dismay that’s created and fed.. by me.
In my mind all is quiet. I just feel numb to touch. My eyes tell me a story. Sometimes a little too much. My traits are just me. I won't change who I am. If no one likes it. I don't give a damn.
I never lie; The scarred And ruined Image Before you, A once Hopeful girl, Now a desolate Woman Who is Tiring of The world And it's Constant Struggle, Is the Truth.
@Nom I've written a poem like urs last year. But in Chinese... A bit hard to transfer the same feeling into English in a rhythmical way lol
Kinda made me frown. You don't like self pity, yet won't let it go? Or did I get the wrong end of the stick?
@naaviie I see how you would be confused. Self pity isn't the feeling I hate in this poem. Self pity is an option I take when I feel this way. Make sense?
Errrr, so, you have a feeling you hate but to avoid it to choose self pity instead? What feeling is worse than self pity?
@naaviie I'm sorry I'm not explaining it well. This poem is one of the most personal I've written and it's hard to explain because it is so personal. The 'feeling' isn't self pity. The 'feeling' isn't even so much a feeling as a whole barrage of emotions about 'something'. But I sometimes loathe myself for having these feelings, which is why I turn to self pity.
I love that this is so honest, it makes it a great write. And yes, of course, open for interpretation. I'm intrigued about your feelings, but not gunna push a painful subject. 💚
@naaviie thank you for not pushing. It is a little raw. and thank you for taking the time to read my old poems. I just started going back through yours (with the intention of starting at the beginning), got as far as 'Weary' and the app crashed! Frustrating!
No problem amigo, perhaps once time's worked it's magic you'll write about it again and I can read it. Mwah ✨ oh gosh, you are a brave soul, I wish you luck on your quest - I think "weary" is a good sentiment of your future state!
@naaviie not sure time can help this one! Thank you calling me a brave soul, that's touching. Maybe I'll write about it again, it's the easiest way to express it! Yes, 'Weary' is a little foreboding!
You are being very mysterious, I thought time could help with everything? Must be something you carry with you... I look forward to the write 😊 I admit i'm a little nervous of you going back there, feel like I should warn you. 😳
@naaviie mystery is good! I might not get very far back tonight, although I'd love to see your really early Opusses! I'll repost all the embarrassing ones 😜
Nooooooooooo I forbid this you meanie! Err you may nee more than a night, I'm quite the rambler. First ones are all pretty rubbish and short, when I was making the transition from social networks (boo!) to writing again (yey!) please don't like them, it is shameful 😓
@naaviie I will like the ones that I like! (if that makes sense). Don't worry, I won't embarrass you too much! 😜
@naaviie it may be tomorrow actually as I'm feeling tired now! Let's see how far I get tonight! Of course I'll be gentle, and I want to see how the tone of your poetry has changed too...
Nanight then sleepyhead, I think that is a good plan. I look forward - apprehensively - to your gentle replies 💚
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