One of those moods
Those god-awful moods
I'm not knowing much of everything
And I'm questioning
Every
Single
Thing
I've ever known
Laying here blaring music
Who's soft touch always felt just a
Little bit
Softer
Than any boy that has looked my way
Just curling up
Wondering why I even bother
Then I realize
Just how
Pathetic
I sound
And I'm disgusted with myself
For being this low
And even more disgusted in the fact that
I can declare that this is low
That
Is
Weak
I don't want your help
I
Never want help from anyone
And
Maybe that's the root of my problems
But
What if it isn't really a problem
Just
Something that is what it is
Something
Has got to be wrong with me
Why can't I just be
One
Of
Those
Girls
That can just be happy all of the time
Why must I
Fuck
Everything
Up
And then get even more upset when I realize
Just
How
Self-pitying I sound
And
Then
I
Just
Need to sleep.
©Sabrina Smith October 2012
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