'Next time you speak to you-know-who
I've got a message for him
Tell him that I have lost a stone
Since the last time I saw him.
Tell him that I've got three new books
Coming out soon,
but play it
Cool, make it sound spontaneous.
Don't say I said to say it.
He might ask if I've mentioned him
Say I have once, in passing.
Memorise everything he says
And, no, it won't be grassing
When you repeat his words to me-
It's the only way to play it.
Tell him I'm toned and tanned and fine.
Don't say I said to say it.
Say that serenity and grace
Have taken root inside me.
My topnote is frivolity
But beneath dark passions guide me.
Tell him I'm radiant and replete
And add that every day it
Seems I'm harder to resist
Don't say I said to say it.
Tell him that all my ancient faults
Have been eradicated
I do not carp or analyse
As I might have when we dated.
Say I'm not bossy anymore
Or better still, convey it
Subtly, but get the point across.
Don't say I said to say it.'
S.H
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