To my mother

Are you the one that hurt me?
Or was it you that left me
Alone suffering
This invisible pain

Its not known
by the rest of the world
but i know that
you should notice it easily

I've hidden it so long
The tears, the scars,
every peice of pain
mostly caused by you

But I blame my self
because I was so... Niave
not knowing where I was
or even what to do

so I just cried
alone at night
wishing that
somehow: it could be fixed

A smile was my signature
although pain was
my daily life
everywhere i went

You trusted the mask
That almost became me
if only the pain
hadn't been shoved into light

I might've been
A happier version of me
but you betrayed the mask
i wish i was

My mask is now
my true self
I have only 2 thiings
I wish to tell you

I hate you
for revealing the true me
to everyone else
and myself

for causing even more
Pain to wreak havoc
on my world
and everyone else's

for never noticing me
and causing me to feel
invisible then feel
like i don't belong

for making me have reason
to never trust anyone again
and always question
who i truly am

But i also thank you
I no longer have to
question myself
or hide from the world

I can rediscover
who I am
where i truly belong
if i belong at all

I learned that
I can't trust you
Or anyone for that matter
And I never will

I don't have to be
who you wanted me to be
what the world made me to be
what i willed myself to be

You will always be
An enemy to me
But also a dear friend
for dropping the truth bomb

too bad you're still
who you supposedly are
because i know your lies
i know you and your mask

But the rest of the world doesn't
If only you could tell
the difference
between truth and lies

You may have helped me
Find myself by ignoring me
But I can't help you
I won't even try

I was always there for you
Always cared for you
But shouldn't it
be switched?

You've done a horrible job
Of noticing me
Of knowing the true me
Of understanding me

But you've done great
At making yourself a twin of
the old me
and at being a hypocrite

And making me one as well
And never growing up
And never pushing me
And forcing me to learn on my own

Thanks for shattering
My mask and cracking my dreams
too bad that

You never
would have been
there for me
anyways

Although I do know one thing
that will always remind me of you
the true you
that no one see's

Your a bitch
but also my mother
never loved you in the first place
unlike everyone else

I saw through your facade
My sisters and I
will stand strongly
and unite against you

So despite the pain
and all the tears
I have left you with one scar
and myself with none.