50 Shades Deeper

Fifty shades of emotion, that herald my dark devotion.
It used to be speed that fed my need, now new rivers feed needs ocean.

Perhaps once it was chaos, the thing upon which I fed.
I suppose chaos is still the pinwheel, that turns the cogs in my head.

Lost to smoke and ecstasy, emotion finds its path.
Though in this too was folly, for no greater emotion than wrath.

And then what of salvation, is any other emotion divine.
Even that tasted stagnation, as all things do with time.

Then love, like death, the end game.
Familiarity breeds contempt.
Finding one or the other, is often a wasted attempt.

In anger I find some stability, though I channel well my hate.
Disability or ability, is the curse of the fiery irate.

A calm and deep tranquility, accompanies sleep when I'm blind.
And there I find a freedom, for the fifty shades of my mind.