Needing And Wanting

Imagine being young, Longing for Companionship,
Desperation amidst.

Where you stood is a foreign country.
A place chosen for you,
By fate.

You search and search,
But nothing, no one,
Since everything seem terribly distant.

Half of the time, loneliness was your company.
Half of the time, anguish to yourself and the world.

That hopeless feeling you felt at such a young mind.

At the age of 11,
That was me.

Searching for a soul
I desperately wanted and needed to be by my side.

The feeling went on and on until I realize in the process, I've secretly tried to convince myself that maybe a soul like me, Didn't need one,
Didn't want one.

But I was a fool,
For the feeling eased,
But haunted every part of me until I realized ignorance took over me.

I've carried such loneliness and anguish with me for such a long time that I don't know if it will ever disappear.

I'm scared that time will take me away without finding that soul to care, to trust, and to love for the rest of my life.

I'm terrified of being afraid of being forever alone and will die with the loneliness still within me...

When all I wanted in this life is to love and be love in return.