@Andy_Hayhurst

Tv Soaps

If you've been affected by any of the issues raised in tonight's episode of Emmerdale... Then you're a fucking moron!.

@Supertecnoboff

Sex

Duct tape is silver... Silence is golden..

@Supertecnoboff

Buffering

I was having sex the other day, banging away, when suddenly I stopped mid-thrust and stood really still. "What are you doing?" "Something I learnt from online porn. It's called 'buffering'.".

@albisher

Yo mama house so small you have to go outside to change your mind..

@albisher

Q. Why did the woman cross the road. A. Never mind that, what the fuck is she doing out of the kitchen?.

@albisher

Q: What is the one thing you will never hear a man say. A: Her tits are just too big..

@albisher

What's the difference between love, true love and showing off. Spitting, swallowing and gargling..

@albisher

Q. What do tight pants and a cheap motel have in common. A. No ball room.