Sex

@albisher

Q: What is the one thing you will never hear a man say. A: Her tits are just too big..

@sandyboyer

Spider Man

So can I be spiderman.. Because I can be your hero<3 E.R.W;).

@Supertecnoboff

Laptop Speakers

Laptop Speakers: Too quiet for music, too loud for porn..

@shazydee

How To Ruin A Guys Ego

Four words to ruin a guys ego, Is it in yet.

@Supertecnoboff

Men Vs Women

Statistics say women think they are smarter than men because they can fake orgasms for the relationship. Men say, "Big fucking deal, try faking a relationship just for the shag!".

@AEngland

Blow Banana.

Never make eye contact whilst eating a banana. Throws out completely the wrong vibe..

@AEngland

Unfortunate.

Accidentally missed out the "R" whilst googling "Gary Oldman" today, worst experience of my life..

@Supertecnoboff

Buffering

I was having sex the other day, banging away, when suddenly I stopped mid-thrust and stood really still. "What are you doing?" "Something I learnt from online porn. It's called 'buffering'.".