The Magic Day 15: Magically Heal Your Relationships

This is a very sweet chapter. I guess this chapter is best for people who have been divorced or separated. Basically this chapter explains that looking for the good that the other person has done to you will heal your relationship. Lets say you're divorced and you want to heal the pain of the divorce, this chapter asks you to list down 10 things you are grateful for about the other person. This is quite difficult when you're at a time in your life when you are angry with the other person, but then again that is the best time you should do this.

When we are angry, when we are in a difficult relationship, when we are in a challenging situation, we are never the least grateful for the other person. Our mind and emotions are preoccupied with anger, hatred, blame, disappointment, disapproval and all those negative things. The more you blame the worse the relationship gets. This may be applied to any relationship: boyfriend-girlfriend, father-daughter, mother-son, coworkers, classmates and so on.

I had to choose one broken relationship in this chapter. It stated that it doesn't matter if you can still contact the other person, just choose one relationship that needs healing. In my case I chose my brother, who I am not talking to. He is 2 years younger than I am, he's married and has a 4 year old son. My brother, his wife and his son, live in the same house I live in. I haven't spoken to him in the last 2 months. We got in an argument about house expanses and it just got bad. So I chose him for this chapter. Now I had to think of 10 things that I am grateful for about him. THIS WAS TOUGH! To be honest I don't even care if we talk coz I don't really need him or anything. BUT catholic guilt just made me uncomfortable yet again, so I was going to try this "heal your relationship" thing with him. I finished the list and reread it. Its kinda funny reading it coz it sounds so sarcastic! But at least I was able to finish it. Oh to add my brother and I were never really close even if we all live in one house, went to the same school and all that. I guess we are just very different, plus I don't really like his wife. Its nothing personal but I find his wife shallow, self centered and fake. I rarely talk to her as well.

I am grateful that you take care of yourself so I don’t have to take care of you
I am grateful for your son because I have a nephew
I am grateful for you staying at home after you got married after dad died for togetherness
I am grateful for you playing with me when we were kids because it was fun
I am grateful for not being able to see you at home coz you work to avoid confrontation
I am grateful that your son is your priority so we don’t have to worry about him
I am grateful that you keep to yourself because its easier to deal with you
I am grateful you like to go out of town for long weekends because I like staying home
I am grateful that are simple because its admirable
I am grateful you love daddy because I love him too

I meant everything I said on that, I was not being sarcastic. At the end I didn't feel as bad towards him. Plus I need to move on from my anger, if we don't talk ever its fine as long as I don't feel anger when I see him. My anger harms MY life not his. The book mentioned that in the future if I come across situations like this again I have to do this magic practice immediately, before it gets bigger.