Very first time I am being introduced to them, my then gf (now wife)’s mum asks my gf ‘would [name] like drink’, my gf says ‘he can speak for himself mum he isnt deaf and dumb’ - at which point I put on my best deaf persons voice, go cross eyed and say ‘Yes I would like a lemonade please’. The whole room - sisters, brothers, grand parents, parents just stare at me.
At my gfs dads fiftieth birthday party I get drunk, and basically hold her mum hostage in the corner of the room talking to her, only letting her go after I have put my arm round her, got my face to within an inch of hers and said ‘if your daughter looks half as good as you do at 50 I will be f*cking delighted’ I then slap her bum and walk away all.
After going out with my brother in law (wifes sisters hubbie) we get picked up by my wife and taken back to her parents where we are staying. I decide that the best thing to do is hang around by the front door until evryone is inside, take my trousers off and come in doing the can can round the coffee table in the lounge. I run in, legs swinging, boxers flailing, her sister who is sat on the floor gets an eye full of the little general, her dad looks up from his book, raises and eyebrow and goes back to reading again.
Final one - happened two weeks ago. I was sat with my wife, her sister and their mum. I was saying that when we go to Vegas I am going to pay for my wife and her sis to go to the Chippendales. Her mum, a saintly naive lady, says ”Oooh I saw a stripper once, his thing was so big it almost made me sick” without missing a beat I reply with ”well you shouldnt have tried to take the whole thing in your mouth then”. I roll around laughing whilst the 3 women stare open mouthed… it is only when my Wife explains that although technically an amusing joke, I had basically suggested my mother in law had provided deep throat to a stripper that I realised quite how bad it was.
Unbelievably, her family love me, this is due to the fact the although stupid i am not a c*nt like previous boyfriends
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