Of Apathy

jrodthedestroyer • 27 followers

I haven't even gotten on Opuss in a shamefully long time. The truth is I've been completely dry of inspiration. I've been floating along, so to speak, letting life carry my thoughts where it will without voicing either encouragement or protest. And it's been horrifically depressing, so here I am to change it. I have no idea what I'm about to write, but, I hope it overcomes all of this apathy. Here goes.

Four Grey Walls

This life
Exhilaration
Where have I let it go?
The longest nights
And the hardest contemplation
Are all I have to show
For a winter and an autumn
Spent tumbling through a foggy mind
I swim in seething self-damnation
My purpose now cast far from the light
I know it seems pathetic
I never claimed to be a strong man
And try though I did
It seems I've done all I can
I never claimed to be a survivor
I never claimed to be worth a second glance
I never saw anything to admire
In a proud family's lost first chance
I used to think there was
A better side to me
I used to believe
I could inspire more than apathy
I used to hope
I used to dream, I used to live in my mind happily
Now self undone I stand
Naught but these four quiet grey walls
My only company.

#depression #existential-crisis #general #introspective-poetry #mental-health #self-reflection

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