The Year So Far

(You lot are probably sick of hearing it now but writing on here helps get it out of my head a little.)

I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't concentrate on anything, it's just her constantly. Whatever I do to try and take my mind of her it doesn't work. You don't even know the full story so here's the short version (as short as I can make it anyway)...

I've known her since I was 10 (I'm 22 now), we got together in 2009 and were together for 2 years, yeah we had fights but who doesn't. It was good, then another guy came along, she knew him a month and then left me for him new years eve. I love her, it broke my heart, it messed me up I even attempted suicide and ended up in hospital. I wasn't right for months after that, I never left then house for months, didn't even leave my room. Around March I had to get out and I did, I just walked for miles one day around 40 miles, I got lost. I went into this church because I was scared and didn't know where else to go. I talked to the people in there and the vicar drove me home. After that I just thought I just need to get on with my life I mean it had been 3 months. So I started sorting my life out applying for jobs and everything. The middle of April comes I get an email from Chloe (her) I daren't read it so I leave it, I get another, so I open it. She said she kept having thoughts about me and that she has feelings for me and maybe she wanted to try again. Then a few days later she decides to leave it a bit and keep trying with who she is with, so I carry on with my life. Literally a week later another email, she couldn't do it, she wants me to meet up with her, so I do. All the feelings I had came back, I guess they never really went away. She felt the same but now she's unsure she keeps changing her mind and I have to stick in there, because it's what I want. One day she wants me, the next it's him. My life is on pause because I can't stop thinking about her. It's all a mess and I can't get her out of my head.