crying
I just spoke with my dad
he knows I'm dying inside
I told him when I used to cut it was never to kill myself
it wasn't
but I cut yesterday
I still cut and I want to tell him and get help
but I don't
I want to get better on my own
but I'm the one messing my self up
my arm has scratches and cuts and scars on it
I can't do this anymore
I need a distraction
but I can't drink
I can't smoke
I can't be with friends because I don't fucking have any
I
I
I'm full of darkness
this pain is self inflicted
I consumed myself
and planned my own suffering
it was my fault
and it still is
I need to get up
stand up
go outside
leave my room
and stop being sad
easier said than done
I can't handle all this
it's only me
if I tell my best friend that I cut again she'll tell my parents
I don't want to keep it a secret
I want someone to know
I want people to care
but I don't
I don't want this
I don't
I do
I don't
god dammit I don't
let me go
let me go
let go of me
but I can't shake it this time
time isn't the one killing me
I am
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@muhkickass
16. quirky. trying to stay positive.
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Comments & Feedback (13)
@muhkickass yeah I know...my two best friend are going through the same thing...too many people go through the same thing
@muhkickass there is. It's too talk about it and get help. But there's relapses and just life that makes it difficult and scary :/
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