I Miss You

You know that time right before you fall asleep? The time when everything slows down for a moment? That's the best feeling. The last thought I always think before I drift into unconsciousness is you. Your happiness, the four months we spent together, the time you came over and we jumped on the trampoline. When we watched the last harry Potter movie at your moms. How you'd complain about your dad. How your mom was overwhelmed with cancer. The second day after we broke up, I walked past your moms black truck. She smiled at me. I smiled back. And that was the last time I saw her. All of this races through my head and it makes me feel like I'm reliving it. Like everything's all okay for a fraction of a second. That maybe you haven't forgotten about me. How I was there for you. How that summer was the best. I remember the bad things, like how I poked you in the eye at the theater and how I lost a friend because of my decision to be with you. You know, it was all worth it, I'm okay. Peter Pan and Wendy turned out to be perfectly fine even though they weren't together. And that's who we are. Peter and Wendy. You'll always be my first love, you'll always be my last racing, slow-moving thought right before I go to sleep. And I know you must be happy, but its not because of me. And I drink more coffee, I stay awake because I know that split second of happiness is fake. Anyways, I miss you. I'm sorry.