Momma Said

I could only be friends (just friends) with him , and here I am trying not to love him to the fullest , but it's so hard ..
She said I should meet someone new someone who doesnt know anything about me , when I do so , I hurt the one I love )':
And crappy things happen to me .
I kept it to myself cause If I told him , I'll break his heart ..
But still he's hurt ..
Momma , I love him like a roller coster ride it goes up & down , twist & turn & it's always been the same ..
It's hard to love someone who doesn't know me well like he does .
Cos he is the only one who knows me for my goods & my bads ..
Though he ever judge me , he never stopped loving me .
And now I'm seeing someone , again I'm hurtin him to the extend he doesn't want any connection with me anymore ):
He's not just my childhood friend , bestfriend or just some guy but he is everything to me .
I lost my friends & now I'm lossing him for what I'm doing ):
Hais..
I wish I could just send myself away , far away ...