Critique

I welcome you and all you say
Even when it's not going my way
I want to see it through your eyes
So go ahead and criticise

Tell me where I have gone wrong!
Point out where I've gone on too long!
Tell me what I should cut out!
Exclamation mark overuse about!

Highlighting "Show don't tell"
Reading it, I hear you yell
Reminding me of Apostrophe rules
It's like being back at school

Rearranging my commas
Restructuring my sentence
Tightening my paragraphs
Changing grammar and tenses

I appreciate all of your advice
Don't need to say delete the "ly" twice
Keep sharing your feedback with me
I'll revise and be back, you'll see

Choosing better verbs
Changing my nouns
Expressive dialogue
Improving the way it sounds

The story starts with a hook
Its now got flow and a grip
Come a long a way from first draft
I'm glad I didn't just bin it

My writing has come a long way
Thanks to listening to what others say
So cast your eyes over my work
Help me to turn my story into a book