The Hole In My Soul

I play a single role
To fill the hole
Inside my soul
Its my only goal
But can I fill it?
NO
Because NOTHING fits.
And if it does it slips.
Or doesn't stick.
Or doesn't quite fit.
It makes me sick;
If I had Tourette's, I'd tick.
Epilepsy? I'd fit.
While pursuing my goal
Of filling my soul.
My only role.

So I tried a drink,
And it worked, I think,
Bought me back from the brink,
The missing link,
No need for a shrink!
Until I started to sink.
and found my senses have flown,
..Reactions...had...slowed...
All my money been blown!
And there I was (all alone)
And the hole?
It had grown.

So I tried drugs too.
But they went straight through,
With no real problems - although...
They made me depressed,
And the police weren't impressed.
It's like an impossible test,
And although I'm doing my best,
I'm not sure I'll ever be blessed,
With a whole,
in my hole
(the one in my soul)

But in writing this rhyme,
At some point in time,
- I couldn't tell you which line -
There was a peace in my mind,
A faint light (maybe) shined,
And I felt.
Well.
I felt Fine!
So maybe...
....Maybe, if I try to express,
And not internally convalesce,
I'll stand just the best,
Chance that There'll be
Of curing me
(albeit temporarily)
And not have to flee
From the hole in my soul.