Life , it has been kicking Me around for à while,,,, Trying to start Life over .... What do I need to bring???
The spark in Your eyes when You see Me . The way You put Your hand on My hip when I'm doing the dishes. The smile when we have fun. The way You listen to Me . Your lips kissing Me.
What Will this new year bring Me . I wish for some peace , a mind that Can relax. No more pain no more bleeding Heart and crippled soul. Give Me some sun, a Warm breeze and a blue skye. Please!!!.
Standing alone, all is dark and cold . Empty and all alone With the kids . I had so Many Tears and cried so hard.
After about twenty years if mental abuse, something inside Me broke. You cant change that much, You must be able to talk and express Your feelings. No one Can live a Life full of no and wrong.
I loved You so much, I Would do everything for You . I loved You , cared for You, the best I could. But it was not good enough.
Dreamless, light as a feather. Sweet as nectar, soft like clouds. Filled With happiness , Tastes like chokolate, melts on My tounge, Life ,loving it!.
It is winter and cold. Snow is falling from above. My Heart is pumping, But the Blood is cold , oh so cold. The sky is clear and darkblue. Stars sparkling like Diamonds up there.
Sometimes words comes easy. It Can be Lovely sweet words . Words gentle as a butterflies wingd. Words Can be hard and fearful. They Can cause pain and destroy Your soul, kill Your spirit .
Things I like Strawberries A red Apple Glass of red wine Love Satin panties Red ribbon on a gift Roses Maple leaves in the fall Things I like.
You ask Me to sit beside, Hold Your hand. I take Your hand in mine, Its cold, fragile dry. - Dont leave Me. I wont I promise . Will You stay. Yes I Will. All the time. Yes all the time. All the way.
This place, is new to Me . Here I'm a stranger. I dont know the houses, see no one i know. No Friendly faces, no smiles. No one is taking Amy notice of Me . I could live in another country.
When You look at Me, What do You see. Do You see Me , My soul and spirit. Or do You see My anxiety My fears and Sad drakens inside?.
" I have trouble writing happy things even when I'm happy... I'm fine tough" I try not to feel, Try not to think, Stop the emotions and Tears . Lock away the memories .
To Me You are perfect, Your kind and gentle, You make Me laugh . With You I feel loved and special. Its magic!.
Like tree I have roots, Deep in to the soil had they grown, year after year. Trough storms and rain, sun and drought. Now I have been moved, My roots has been cut Off .
Trough snow and rain Dark nights and bright sun Down in the walley, on top of the high mountin Deep in aning the Green trees. Slippery Stones on the edge of à stream.
My chest is ripped open My pounding Heart in My hands Life is fading away Pictures slowley Passing by À smiling baby À toddlers hand holding mine The First bikeride Wedding dress Goldring on My...
Clear crisp autumn Day Blue skies and leaves red, gold and orange. Walking along the path of Life . Wondering about next step, does destiny exist. Or do we have control over all our movements in Life.
My apartment is empty My Life My things Pots and pans Clothes and books Its all in neat boxes Forks and knives spooning With mrs kettle Photos fr.o.m.
To pack whole kitchen in boxes No dinner today Thank god for instant coffe and kettle!!!.
Soft and sweet Like s whisper Like Honey Touch of a butterflie Hot as fire My love for You has no words.
Boxes all over the place Moving Packing boxes Cant find anything Finding everything Boxes I'm moving after some twenty years Strange Fun Scary Hopeful.
Heavy head On My pillow Tired body Under My covers Dream Nothing Just sleep Feel Nothing Rest for now.
Is filled With love. My eyes cant see You enough. My fingertips always in search to touch You. Run My fingers trough Your hair. My skin is Longing for Your warmth being close.
Hot Warm Body sweating Mind empty Soul cold The two opposite hurts.
In a crowded room. Filled With friends and family. All Happy , smiling having fun. I look around. I feel alone. I meet smiling eyes. Friendly hands and Warm Hugs. Im alone.
Walking by the Big mirror in the hallway Shaking My hair right glance and.... I see My mother. But mum has been dead for atleast 12 years now My eyes into the mirror again.
Supporting Me when Im dizzy. Holding My hair when Im trowing up. Waiting for Me when I must sit Down. Hold Me and support. Trough Tears and slobbering.
After the hard rain Sun is coming back Trying to give is some sun and warmth just before setting.
I'm woman I'm inspired I'm in love I'm colour of Life I'm safe I'm Happy I'm on a cloud I'm yours!!!.
Like a bee coming to flowers for nectar, Like an eagle soring on the hot air, I Come to You.
Due to illness I was rushed to hospital , miss opuss and all ny Lovely friends and Your writing . Will be back asap, live You all!!!.
Im alone In the darkness Trying to find My way Its cold to the bones I Can hear something Is it a beast With sharp teeeth.
I know I love You becuase the light in Your eyes. When You look at Me. I know You love Me becuase the way You smile when we meet. I know You live Me by the way You touch Me.
Standing on the bridge. Looking Down Bkack water With With foam on the wave top Trying to estimate the hight Would I surely die on impact. Or Would I get hurt and have to drown.
Your words touch My soul so hard Many Times' it feels like Your words are about My Life How Can You know My pain so Well Your poems leave Me breathless at times Your words take the edge if My pain My...
We are together. Your always in My mind. When My mind wanders Its You Im thinking of. Im addicted to You. Your touch. The way You smile when we meet. The smell in Your neck. Im Lost without You.
Nan is going home By bus She is strong and vital 90 years old She travels six hours to meet us I Will miss My nan.
In the morning Bright daylight Hard reality Deal With it!!. Be strong One step at a time Im Lost in all the pain One foot in front of the Other Never mind pain.
Tired In bed Should really sleep Early morning Close My eyes My mind start to spin Heart pounding Round and round Hard to breath Tears No rest No sleep Oh god please take My out of My misery.
Some people are such a great importance in My Life. When not around I miss them a lot. Im not complete without them. Its not Only the fact that they are missed. It really hurts to be without them.
Sun Kisses Walk Green grass Hugs Safe Flowers Love I'm Happy I'm blessed.
Suddenly Im wide awake Room is completley dark I cant hear à sound except My Heart baning hard inside My chest Was it à nightmare Someone Trying to get in.
Tastes a bit salty. With à touch of sweet love. Soft and Warm under My hand. My body Can feel Your touch all over. Sort of tingling light touch. Sweet breath and smell of clearing cottonsheets.
He came We had dinner And then he took out My helmet and jacket. We took à tour on hus motor bike So nice He is so good to m Life is good to Me.
In the hours if sorrow and pain. When My soul is lost. In the moment My spirit is broken. That is the moment when You take My hand. Whisper in My ear. Give Me hope and help Me forward.
Sun Sand under My feet Waves The ocean is blue shifting to green I Can almost taste the salt in the air A seashell , white With Brown spors I ronder How it Would be, to live in a seashell?.
These Sad feelings They are so hard to handle Most of the time I put up a strong face I work I take care of household Kids and laundry I do everything I have to But Im tired I need to rest.
In a blink of an eye. Fast. It rushes trough My bloodstream. Feeling of total bliss. My mind My spirit. Its all in the right position. Harmony in to the core of My spine. One second Later.
With a little twist So easy Fast No pain No Tears An easy twist Once again Soft and easy a few lemondrops in My glas of water.
I know What to do. I need to keep moving forward. I need to move not live in the past. I have the present But What about future. How do I move from surviving to living.
Alone Headace Huge pot of coffee Boring Sad hateful monday.
I had a super nice weekend Good food wine and cake Walks With the Dogs Nice hot showers Happy content comfy and safe No on My own mega dislike it!!!!!.
A glass of red wine. A nice dinner. Chocolate cake With whipped cream. Hugs and kisses. My head resting on Your shoulder. Midsomer murders on the telly. Your fingers running trough My hair.
The razor is sharp I like the razor Cold sharp Pain inside ripping My soul into pieces Pain just shredding My spirit All if Me us just like a puzzle thrown out on tve floor The broken Heart The...
This little kitty is going to bed The wounderful world of writing and reading good stuff has been sort of Changed .
I have a black bag Its quite heavy Its closed Standing in the corner Like a big dark shadow Sort of Looking at Me In a demanding way It is calling to Me Take Me Use Me Lets go Whats in the...
Sun is up Birds are singing I feel good Its nice.
Green leaves Grass under My feet Blue skies air easy to breath The breeze is like a gentle touch Strawberries so sweet Sometimes Its easy to live.
Dark bottomless pit It hurts Im in pain Why is it so hard to move forward .
Laytely I suffer from moodswings. Im so Happy and feel so safe With You. And so alone and unhappy without You. We are Trying to fit our lives together. Not so easy teenagers , Your kids My kids.
This canvas is empty I want to paint I need to use these brushes I want to paint All the coulors I want to use I know of writers block But is it painters block I have?.
You kissed Me Your fingers was like electricity on My skin Sweet loving tender and sort of sad.
I pick up the knifr. The steel is cold. Its sharp and shiny. Rests nice and heavy in my hand. I lift high and lower it into You. Its soft in the beginning. A bit harder after a while.
Oh glas of red, I thee wed You and I tonite Even though I dont wear white Sorry folks couldnt help My self :-).
A safe place Somewhere to rest A Space called mine A place of peace No trouble Just calm and serenety My bed !.
This night I Would like some company You know have some Nice friends over for a bit of party Get My mobil start to call Jack Jimmy And of course jonnie But somethings missing....
Anyone Else who has serious problems loading??.
So hard Every Day Every night I was so dedicated to You and to make You Happy What Did I go wrong. I tried so hard....
Love. What is love. Is that feeling in My chest ,pounding hard hard. Is it the feeling of thousands of butterflies in My belly Could it be the sweet taste of Your kiss on My lips.
One Day munching Green leaves, climbing up branches , eating leaves. Search for a quiet place to build My cocoon.
Its midnight. Twisting and turning around in My bed. Tick Tick time goes by. I know I shouldnt. Sheets all twisted. I know I shouldnt. Its dark. Cold floor under My naked feet. Just a tiny light.
Sweet like chokolate Strong like a vodka on the rocks Tender like silkcheets Smell like lilacs on a summers night With Every heartbeat and as long as I breath I Will love You.
Fallen Down a rabbits hole Tumbling Down in slowmotion What is up. What is Down Left Or right id no more known At the bottom door by door What Would Alice do.
I miss You Miss Your voice The smell of Your after shave I miss Your kisses With out You Im just half You are the missing piece in My Life.
I Can feel Your hand, behind My back , resting on the curve of My hip. Warm and tender. Guiding Me forward Step by step Close to You Moving forward I Can feel Your Heart beating.
Everyone , child Or grownup Woman Or man All of us everywhere On the top of the chain If Your Down below Rich Or poor All of us Should have ONE like You In their Life!!!.
Hurtfull, filled With pain. Every Word is meant to hurt , inflict pain. Tear Me apart. I bow My head. Let the words hit Me. At one point Your hateful words Will be Lost and worthless.
I fear Life It hurts so bad sometimes My Heart is broken My soul is dark My spirit gone Life hurts When Will the pain go away?.
Dont care for the ugly floor Dont like the uncomfy chairs Old magazines read over and over Dont like the smell Dont care for the long wait.
My spirit broken. My soul gasping for air. Like prisoner Longing for freedom. My soul need to be free. I need to run free like a mustang. Fly trough the clouds like an eagle.
I Can feel Your skin So soft warm under My fingertips. I Can feel Your love deep inside of Me. Sparkling like spring water. Your voice is like music in My ears.
Sun starts to shine Birds singing Green Grass is damp Its like gift A promise that today , today Life Will behave and treat Me right.
Like Stars on a dark blue sky we have been searching our soulmate. Far away in reality But always close in spirit , deep Down we know, One Day we Will meet.
In the strong light some things change. Maybe the dark shadows are just shadows, not monsters. Could it just be in My mind. But the pain , the pain in My soul is there, Not so strong But it is there.
When I share Life With You, It is all so wounderful . You keep Me safe, comfort Me and wipes away My Tears. I laugh and kiss You. You support Me and make grow as a person.
This night , all Stars upon the black velvet sky. Moon is full , like a silver coin. A dog is barking far away. Holding Your hand , pale and cold. Every breath is torment. Body in pain and agony.
This is too good to be true , it might just be that ..
Ohh How we weave our Life web. Long thinthreads. Some are shiny and happy. Some are thin and fragile, easy to break. Others are thick and Will hold no matter What.
Sun ,warm on My skin. Moon is guiding Me on à dark night. Stars watching over Me, Keeping Me safe ..
Middle of Life .... What has been and What is to come. Regrets as Well as good memories. Future plans as well as fear. Dedicated to live!!!.
Your in pain and agony. I'd like to help and comfort You , this dark night. Hold close and kiss Your head. I'm to far away, we are apart..
Sun on My face, Honey and hummingbirds. Green Grass and blue waves . Smell Your after shave. Fredh coffee in the morning. Birds singing, cats purring . Childrens play. You kissing My neck.
As a child I used to think time was endless. Eternal. As a teenager I thought time Would not go fast enough. As a mother to My firstborn time stood still .
My chest is full of pain. Eyes full of tears, I dont need more pain, My spirit is already broken. I have tried so many times to end it all. The pain comes over Me in waves, again and again.
Dark night , cold night. Silence except My oense footsteps. All is Well , everyone asleep. No sign of Death yet. But I know him, he is out there , in the dark, waiting , Looking .........
I thought I had it planned. Big things and small. I had whises , I had goals. Suddenly You turned it up side Down . It took a LOT of time to recover. I had to search My soul , find the spirit within.
Sun warming My face, Water is salty and cooling. Sand under My feet. Life is good..
Oh so dark, Pitch black. Hello. Hello??. HELLOOOO!!!!!. Knocking, baning on the door, scratching the walls. Hello. Hello. Darkness, silence. Why. Where. How . Hello. Cant breath....
Love is a delight Love is pain I love to love.