Super Knickers

@surfratwalt

HECS Gov. Loans

"You know you're old when you've paid your HECS debt off" ... me "No, you know your education was worth it when you've paid your HECS debt off." ... Lauren.

@surfratwalt

A Better World

I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned..

@sushirolls

Define colossal : your ass..

@baddfish

One Morning

I stepped on a cornflake... Now... i'm a cereal killer!!!.

@preshit

Java

Saying that Java is better because it works on all platforms is like saying Anal sex is better because it works on all genders..

@loz

Glow Worm

I wish I were a glow worm, A glow worm's never glum, 'Cause how can you be grumpy, when the sun shines out your bum?!.

@ktwblack

LOLZ

Quitting smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I’ve done it dozens of times..

@surfratwalt

Ron Swanson

"Fish is practically a vegetable".