The shiny Christmas baubles swing upon the tree
The lights are flickering an epileptic dance at me
The gifts are wrapped, ribboned and bowed oh so perfectly
White Christmas and Home Alone repeat on the t.v.
It's the calm before the early morn
When kids disguise their over excited smiling yawns
Too much brain activity leaves their expectations torn
"Did they get me..? I hope I have got...oh I wonder what Santa's brought?!"
Joyful childish excitement wakes you from deep sleep
Wake up!! Wake up!! It's Christmas! Wake up now please!
You can't take another whack in the rib from them bouncy on their knees
"Oh yeah, Santa!" They remember and off they rush too see
A fag, a coffee and 30 minutes later you arrive at the scene
And the madness and chaos begins
Wild arms, unread gift tags and ripped paper cover everything
They marvel at the oddity of socks and smelly sanitaries
Thankfully gadgets and Argos' 3 for 2 toys keeps their frowns at ease
The father is in his element fighting with the packaging
The foreign instructions won't get the better of him
He's stubbornly determined in his sleepy desire to get these gifts working
He's more disappointed than the kids that mum forgot the flipping batteries
Mum's got enough stress as she forgot what time she put the turkey in
And trying to work out the weight till cooked ratio/time gets everyone's brains calculating
Finally the aroma of fused cinnamon, sage, sprouts and poultry gives the dogs a grin
Forget the queens speech, the tv is stuck on the lottery as dad "borrowed" the batteries from the remote, for the win
And so the barbaric feast begins
The table is neatly laid out with things all green, red and gold
Crackers pulled, hats on, crap jokes all told
The birds body is mutilated and the carcass is now cold
The wine flows well and the hiccups and farts are bold
Then we sit down for the sky+ recorded Xmas special of all the usual soaps
Alfie and Kat, that girl got her baby back, we hope?
That Dingle woman's in prison or did her lover make the right decision? What a joke!
I'm off to walk the dogs before I hurt myself with the tinsel type rope
The kids are now bored even worse than before
They never happy when you give them lots more
The surprise present is the cheap pound shop toy some distant relative gave them
They play with just that until bed time which was way past eleven
What a way to spend the day
And not a mention of Christ, thank god, I say!
Hahaha happy Christmas Opussians
Peace and much Love x
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