Sickness

My world is spinning all around. I close my eyes and then i drown. I use to lay in bed with my own sweat and tears. I knew my life was over. I knew i was down and out. My heart felt like a hard cold fist that seemed like it was going to quit. I knew my life was over, but i wasn't going to quit. I remembered puking. I was puking up blood. I was suffocating. I couldn't breath. I was almost lost. I was in the emergency room hooked up to machines. At one point i did give up. I closed my eyes. My lifeline stopped. I saw black and white. I opened my eyes and my lifeline was back on. I wanted then to cut my throat open and sewn me shut. Instead they just gave me drugs. I was insane. I was laughing at everything. To this day i wished i had surgery on my throat, because i still don't feel alright.