Growing Old Gracefully

I never thought I would join the purple rinse brigade. But here I am, at the grand old age of 37 worrying about the 'sparkly bits' that seem to multiply every month. I've tried Deep Mahogany, Cappuccino and other shades that wouldn't go amiss on a Dulux colour card. I have considered changing the lighting in the bathroom. Those spotlights really seem to pick out the more mature aspects of my personality. As if that wasn't bad enough, I now find I am sprouting whiskers on my upper lip and my chin at a rate of knots. I was almost offended when the chaps at work didn't invite me to join in Movember.
So I can't tell you how much I'm looking forward to hitting forty.