Night

Time won't abate it
I always knew I wouldn't be able to escape it
Its cold fingers
Clutching me in desperation
I begin to lose all sensation

Bitterness clouding my mind
My past,
Still so well defined
The images crawl back into my brain
I feel like I'm going insane

Hatred and denial
I loved her
But I could never bring myself to smile

Time blurs
The dark feelings continue to stir

Trembling
So angry
So fucking angry
I could've had her
She could've been mine
Why was I so keen on losing my mind?

Losing myself
I couldn't help it
I couldn't help it, I'm sorry
I'm so fucking sorry

And she won't take me back
I still lack
The qualities that she needs
To be with me

Undesirable
Alone
I have no one to call
No reason to have a phone

I hate looking at her
At her photographs
I hate hearing her laugh

She has a lovely laugh

I am such an ass

My heart feels so hollow
I resent and swallow
What I am dying to say
I wish I had let her stay

But I didn't

Once I wake up
With a headache
Feeling sick
I'll convince myself that it's not her that I miss

And I'll carry on
Like the fingers never choked me
When it was dark
Like the sound of her voice doesn't hurt me
When she speaks

And time will abate it
I'll convince myself,
I won't stop saying it
Until I gain back sensation