Idiot Child

They want a man
So I'm taciturn, solid and strong
But they want a sensitive to listen to their hurts
So I pull on the stillness, the subtle roots of empathy
I allow them to grow
But they want funny, not quiet and soft
So I'm brash and slightly risqué
Until that gets in the way
And they want wise
As old as the skies
So I'm measured, thoughtful,
An incisive plunderer of experience
Oh, but I should have been unassuming and humble,
Not presuming to know the Earth
Nor even myself.
Wait - I should be a leader.
My family need a figurehead
To make decisions (in consultation)
And be hard. Firm. Resolute.
Carry just the family's needs at heart.
But now it's cheeky chappy, lad about town
Sportsman, drinker, a let-me-down.
A real man, that's what they need.
Emotionless and free with seed.
As I go like a bull
Is my cup half full?
But no - a husband, faithful and true.
The toiler, the sweat-maker,
The fixer of broken toilets and dreams.
But a socialiser... Weird if your not a socialiser.
Life and soul of the watering hole.
But also a father they need.
The play fighter, up-all-nighter
When sickness or heartache comes.
The bill payer, the tidy-away-er.
Am I doing it? Am I the right thing right now?
Idiot child, she calls me.
Idiot child.
Is she going to tell me just to be myself
Because I don't know what that is.
No, she says.
You and I, and all the others
Under this great, honest sky
Each of us is
An idiot child.
Learn to love him.