@33Guetta78

“Can I ask u something?” “Aren`t you already asking…”.

@33Guetta78

"i miss you" "Really?" "No. I'm just bored and everyone else is busy.".

@33Guetta78

I often wonder how much of me shouting "F*cking GOOGLE IT!" at the telly enters my kids' dreams..

@Puppy

Facebook

If you have problems in life, face them don't Facebook them!.

@tattyteddy

“Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.” - unknown.

@magicmilkshake

:D

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian. It's like going into a garage doesn't make you a car. -unknown.

@gloverer

Biggest Snake In The World

A friend said to a teacher 'Sir, do you know that they found the world's biggest snake?' To which he replied 'Well they must have followed me to the urinals.'.

@33Guetta78

Losing your phone is like losing your life..