I have a little more time now, so I'm gonna write this down. As I said earlier, I explored myself a little today. The first thing you should know is I'm majorly hung up on my last ex. We broke up at the end of February after he'd been lying to me and smoking drugs. He came clean and left me. This devastated me. To the point of deciding my life wasn't worth living and taking a handful of painkillers. Now, the friend I've had staying with me want to be my boyfriend. And the last few days, especially today, have taught me a lot about myself. I'm a grumpy, annoying person at the moment, who is so terrified of being alone forever, but now pushes everyone away. It doesn't help that I have emotional instability disorder. Is it so bad that I still want my ex back more than anything? Even though he's a bum who is going nowhere and he lied to me? I still love him so much. More than anything in the world. And even now, I'm waiting for him to come crawling back. Knowing that he made the biggest mistake of his life, full of promises I know he won't keep, and I just know I'm never gonna be able to trust him again. But I know in my heart that I'd still welcome him back with open arms.
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@Abitha1235
21, female, bisexual, British. Reader, writer, lover, friend. Gamer, nerd and generally awesome.
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