Is This The Krusty Krab?

@sallyzan

Chaos Emerald

Silver emerald in the light what do you see at night "master emerald giving way pleas pleas pleas try and stay" silver emerald clear as day please pleas pleas make it stay.

@SamofthePryce

Misheard

Lights up. A drug dealer stands alone on stage. A man walks by to collect his 'order' discretely. The man exits. Enter another man. MAN (in a strong cockney accent): Have you got my cocaine.

@karlospopper

Who Cares, Really?

A funny bittersweet moment from the 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee.

@kfryer

If You Want To Be Powerful.. Like Lady Macbeth

Look like th'innocent flower, but be the serpant under it..

@erzamarie

Beautiful Things

Remember that the most beautiful things in the world are the most useless. - John Ruskin, The Stones of Venice, I.

@thelivjay

"The stars move still, time runs, the clock will strike, the Devil will come, and Faustus must be damn'd. O, I'll leap up to my God. Who pulls me down.

@mushyprin

Phone Operator

Phone voice: Please leave a message after the tone. You: *sigh* Phone: Beeeep You: How rude. *You cut off the phone* A few days later. Phone:you have one message.

@JayJay

Acting

To some people acting comes naturally. Some of us maybe not so much. So I'm going to ask you a question. If you act/acted before, did you ever: Forget a line. Get stage fright.