A Fate Of Weakening

Sorry if this is a bit morbid!

I used to think I was a survivor,
But now I think I was wrong,
Now I think I'm trying for nothing
When before I thought I was strong.

I used think that I'd be okay
No matter what I was in for,
But now I'm struggling through the day,
Almost at deaths door.

Will death kindly let me in?
Or send me back to suffer?
I don't appreciate throwing me back in
To a life that is so much tougher.

I am brittle as the weeks go by,
Weakening with the stress,
Please just let me peacefully die,
Wouldn't that be best?