Anxiety

I'm riddled with anxiety tonight. I've suffered from panic attacks since I was fourteen, and Agoraphobia for a few years, but tonight feels uniquely frightening. I was doing well these past few days, considering how stressful it has been, but now the panic has set in - like I guess I had expected it to - I am thinking extremely irrationally and I can't seem to stop it. My depersonalisation is lingering, so I am feeling pushed out of my own body; I'm keeping out of the shadows for fear of what will attack me if I venture there; and I am certain that this stomach ache is a bigger issue than just a disagreement with what I had for dinner. The anxiety feels like it itches at my bones, resonating from the core of every limb as I try to suppress it; try to swat away the building tension and vibrations birthing from within me.
Me. I don't feel like me. I feel taken over. I hate this illness.

I guess though, that there is one positive to think about - this app. If I hadn't of found it; if I hadn't of been writing on it; then I would have written none of what you see in my Opuss, and I therefore wouldn't have been unleashing my creativity. That is a massively important thing - this, I am only just starting to realise. If it weren't for finding Opuss, the overwhelming stress I would feel with the current events in my life would not be treated or prevented by the use of a creative outlet.

A creative outlet is the best medicine that can be given to treat a mental illness.
This I am so overwhelmingly thankful for.