At War With Myself.

The feeling of being on edge constantly,
Is getting to me, deep deep down.
Pretending to smile on the surface,
When within there is a frown.
Oh it's only a meal or a couple,
Eat a biscuit, yes that'll do.
Trying to fit in with reality,
Yet always feeling quite blue.
Wanting to be thin,
Blending into the ways of society.
There's people around like me,
That cause chaos yet variety.
Hiding food in cupboards,
Underneath the bed.
I'd rather starve myself somedays,
Than be too over-fed.
Counting all the calories,
Burning off all you can.
Keeping to a strict routine,
And a "healthy eating" plan.
I know it's damaging me,
Both in body and in mind.
Somehow I can't stop this,
Why can't life rewind?
Let me be free of this curse,
Can I be like once before?
These days are a constant battle,
Trying to win myself at war.