The Missing Piece

Sitting up at 10:38 wondering

"why am I sitting here, what use is this"

And the first thing that comes to mind is

"would you rather sleep through all of that upset, or sit up and talk to yourself"

Either way I am talking to myself, just I prefer one over the other.
And then I think to myself, what am i missing, everyone else is in bed, sleeping. What have they got that I haven't

So this is how I started thinking about the missing piece, the thing I am lacking

What is it?

It could be a peace of mind, a clear conscience, a moral compass that is actually worth following or it could be success, or failure or...

"what If it's Sanity? Have you ever thought of that?"

I'm not insane I reply

"well your sitting up at 10 o'clock at night arguing with the bad side of yourself, what did miss machlachlan say, talking to yourself is the first sign of madness..."

I'm not talking to myself, I'm talking to you, not me, we're different people

"nonsense, we are the same, regardless of who you try to be, you will always be me, and I will always be you, and we're the only person we can trust these days"

No, I'm me, your the old me, the bad me, the oth-

"or am I, what If I'm the real you, just slowly clawing my way out"

Go away, I'm not scared of you

"are you not, why won't you sleep then, save me the effort of talking, I can show you in dreams.."

And that's what I do with my valuable time, talk to myself...

I'll write more interesting things in the morning, I'm going to have to sleep now