Crude Limerick

@LiteralFeline

Old Man

There was an old man from Darjeeling, who boarded a bus bound for Ealing. He saw on the door 'Please don't spit on the floor'. So he stood up and spat on the ceiling!.

@lumleyrob

I'm Not So Sure.

I'm not so sure i was meant to be like this. I'm not so sure i was meant to feel like this. I'm not so sure i was meant to think like this.

@Jammie

Stutters

There was a young man from calcutta Who had the most terrible stutter He said pass the hham and the jjjam and the bbbbbbutter.

@benthehen

Monocle

There once was a young man from sky Who had a peculiar eye His girlfriend did pass A small piece of glass When he saw her he said 'My oh my!'.

@mushyprin

There was a young man from Skye, Who stuck his head in a pie; He walked round the ocean, And drank a bottle of lotion, That vexed the fisherman of Skye..

@blindmuggy

Moetry

To hide my fear I became ignorant. To hide my ignorance I became arrogant. to hide my arrogance I became distant. To hide my distance I became obtuse. To hide my angle I hid myself.

@Intense

There was a woman from Calais Who loved to do ballet She fell flat on her face It was a disgrace Oh that woman from Calais.

@clementallen

Billy Limerick

There was a boy called billy with a ten foot willy and he showed it to the girl next door. She thought it was a snake so she hit it with a rake and now it's only five foot four..