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Who The Hell Am I?

Who, how, what, when, where and why?
Who the bearded Ghandi in the name of Jesus,
Hell am I?

I am in such a state of disarray,
I cannot seem to know,
If I am one way or the other,
Who am I?
Where do I want to go?

There's all these massive questions,
I can't seem to comprehend,
I do not give a tear, an inch, a drop,
A thought or so to lend.

I'd rather be a happy poor man,
Than a wealthy nervous wreck,
But with my multiple disorders,
Should I even give a heck?

I mean, I suffer from so many,
There's no use to even list,
The way my mind can handle being me,
Or stop to can't persist.

In just a minute, I can snap,
From zero to full scale blast,
My mind stays set for years on end,
And then unravels at the past.

I'm paranoia,
Thought dysmorphia,
Depression,
OCD,
I cost too much,
I'm pro,
I'm neg,
I cost too little,
Rich,
I'm,
Free.

My mind's a labyrinth of mazes,
Part eidetic,
Sarcy,
Dark,
I am post sui,
Do I listen?
Do I talk?
I douse?
I spark?

I am a little bit insane-y,
I'm an otaku, nerd, geek,
I am mature, I am a LION,
Is it truth or lies you seek?

I'm indecisive,
I am certain,
Never time,
To call the curtain,
I'm forever,
I'm a never,
As conclusive,
As the weather.

MelchiorJ13

@MelchiorJ13

It's a pleasure to meet you. Kik: melchiorj13 #ProjectHumanity

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Comments & Feedback (8)

Great writing! I know how you feel :(. For some people it takes their entire lifetime to find their purpose, everyone goes through it. You'll be alright.

@nikujagagirl thank you ☺ I have been through a lot of stages and phases, most of myself is in order, but a lot of 'me' is still guesswork, haha, I suppose is probably hate it if everything in my life made sense πŸ˜„πŸ˜Œ thank you for your kind words β˜ΊπŸ˜‰

@MelchiorJ13 I thought I was bad lol...your find your place, no worries! Someone trying is always miles ahead of someone who isn't! πŸ‘πŸ˜œ

@MelchiorJ13 and you're definitely trying! Loving these poems too! Excellent a lot of thought in there πŸ˜œπŸ‘

@MelchiorJ13 You're welcome! :)

Just when I think I've sussed me...something throws it all in the air...it's a never ending journey Hun 😘😘

@MelchiorJ13 indeed, as @misslittleDHP said its a never ending journey. Don't think of yourself as a destination to be reached, found and set in stone, but as a journey, an intangible state if flux. And most of all, just be you, never what you think other people want (though I don't think I should worry about that with you Jack 😊). Also - you're an otaku? 😍❀😍 mucho love!

Really love this! You capture the emotion so well with words a meter. Great work! Oh, and BTW, it's the people that are so certain about things that scare me. Confusion keeps you humanπŸ’—πŸ˜‰πŸ’—

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