Fear: It's Irrational!

Ok, so I've been thinking,
since that day you shared your fears,
what exactly am I scared of?
What brings ME near to tears?

I thought of knuckle-knee-ed spiders
and the sea too (yes, the sea!!!)
But you see, these things I'm conquering,
Only a little whimper from me...

I thought of losing those I love
and YES! That would KILL me,
but it's not really something that I ponder over,
not an actual FEAR in me.

So attention turned to more of the obvious,
like drowning, snakes and the dark.
But really, if I'm honest,
those things are just a 'nark'...

Thinking all this time,
but coming up with nowt.
I wondered if maybe I'm just very brave,
but this I seriously doubt!!

Then tonight, whilst in the kitchen,
a thought occurred to me...
Such a terrible feeling
came sweeping over me.

I thought about @smellyfingers
and a post he put up tonight...
It came to mind, and now I find
what gave me such a fright!

You see I'm scared of something,
it makes me want to cry.
I kind of feel embarrassed,
shameful, a tear in the eye.

I can chat on about almost anything
and am happy to admit if I don't know,
but when it's on THIS subject,
my face begins to glow...

I get all hot and flustered,
then Frustrated as Hell.
If someone tries to explain to me,
I admit it, the anger I cannot quell...

I just don't want to hear it,
So please DON'T try to explain,
'Cause me and bloomin' NUMBERS,
we got on separate trains!!!