I sit here,
Null
Void
Empty
Like a vase with no flowers
Like a lamp with no bulb
Wish I could hold onto that which makes me feel, complete,
That which makes me feel happy and bold
I lay here,
A sigh
This sigh is the sign
Time to sink,
Try not to think,
Allow myself to feel the brink?
These things, they are sent to try us,
People say, it's how we deal with it that matters,
I say, I don't want to 'deal' with this!
I want to run away
But, I am loyal,
I am stronger than I even realise myself,
And I Will 'deal with this'
I am not alone, this much I know,
You are here,
Living this with me,
I'm just so sorry that I cannot allow you to console me more,
For I am used to shutting out,
Shutting down,
Used to dealing on my own
Don't know if that will Ever change,
I know you love me more than I can imagine,
But that's just it,
That is where my 'great imagination' fails me...
And so for now,
I sit here,
Null
Void
Empty
Lost within my own self
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