@amistillill

Mum: What goes ha ha bonk. An apple falling out of a tree. Me: Why's it laughing. Mum: Because it proved Newton's theory yet again.

@JamieGreen95

Punctuation Saves Lives

"Let's eat, Grandma!" "Let's eat Grandma!" See, punctuation saves lives!.

@catarinamp

Soft kitty warm kitty Little ball of fur Happy kitty Sleepy kitty Purr purr purr "Dr. Sheldon Cooper".

@Pompe

The Corner

Are you cold. Go stand in that corner. Its 90 degrees over there..

@akhs

Missing One's Stop

On the tube from West to East,. I fancied having a readable feast. On the Piccadilly bit I had a thought. I shall change to District at Barons Court. Started reading and before I knew.

@zooandroo

Gravity Joke

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down..

@DomenicEdwards

Birthdays Are Good For You

It has been scientifically proven that birthdays are good for you, The more you have to longer you live..

@zooandroo

Science Joke

How are Batman and 16 sodiums related. Nanananananana. (just to say that my friend told me this, I'm not THAT sad).