Is there anything more stressful, anything to cause more strife
Than doing Christmas shopping for a present for the wife?
I've spent hours on the High Street searching each and every shop
But I haven't got the faintest and I'm really fit to drop.
Maybe something for the kitchen? No, I don't think that will do
But I can't afford the jewellery and the perfumes smell of pooh!
Now I'm losing all direction and my feet are bloody sore.
Where exactly am I ? Oh, the John Lewis superstore.
Then I see it - on a mannequin, the gift to make her Christmas merry
A bright red scarf and glove set complemented with a beret.
I can't hide my excitement as I tell the young girl at the till
"I'd like a red scarf, gloves and beret please, gift wrap them, if you will."
Now the young girl looks embarrassed as she fiddles with her hair
"I'm sorry, I've just sold the last set to that gentleman over there"
I turn to face the culprit with an anger that will linger
Only to see a smirking snowman giving me the twiggy finger!
Inspired by the brilliant John Lewis advert.
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