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Hatchet - Chapter 1

Please let me know what you think in the comments :) >>>>>

As I thought back I realised I had never been in more trouble in my life. The night sky was black with neither star nor moonlight to brighten up my path. It weighed heavily in my jacket pocket as I made it through the light mist to a maze of narrow roads that sat on the outscirts of town.

Water from the recent downpour dripped from the gutters of the imposing buildings on either side. Streetlights flickered on and off as a gust of wind parted the mist. I stopped dead.

It wasnt possible. My blood chilled and I could hear the roar of blood in my ears. I felt the cold hard grip of fear take hold of me and crush all reason inside.
I ran, blindly searching for cover, a place to hide, a place to save me. There wasnt one. Panic now setting in I swung my head round desperately, for the perfect place and dived for it.

It wasnt possible, he was dead. I killed him. Yet it was his unmistakable silhouette. Stood under a flickering street light, in a long trench coat, sunglasses and a hat. It was what he was wearing the day I killed him.

My skin was feeling clammy and I felt bile rising up my throat. I froze. There was a man directly outside the dustbin I was hiding in. My heart leapt to my mouth. Humming reached my ears and I heard the sound of a cigarette being lit.I was now shaking with terror. My heart was beating so loud I was sure he could hear it, a small creature ran over my leg and I bit my lip to prevent me crying out.

Then there was silence. I waited, not daring to move lest he hear me, waited for a sign he was still there. It was the loudest silence of my life. My ears were ringing and my clothes were damp with sweat.

Then, all of a sudden the beam of a torch pierced the mist and I heard the unimstakable sound of police searching through the street. I dared a quick look and saw guns, but no sign of the man. I knew they would be here soon and I forced myself to think. But I knew that my chances of escaping were very, very small...

TommyWalsh

@TommyWalsh

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Comments & Feedback (39)

I like it, it's a good start, the reader is left asking questions, in a good way.πŸ˜„really good descriptions as well keep it coming.πŸ˜ƒ

Wow thats good and I really wanna read more .. Keep going its good (:

Omg! Continueeeee! ^^

Is this just for Opuss or do u want to write a short novel? Good start, if it's for Opuss ur pace is fine if you would like to write a full story I would stretch out the science and describe it in more detail giving the reader time to get drawn in. Hope this is helpful, either way well done writing is never easy :)

Stupid auto correct "scene" not science!! Lol

<3 it.

@tattoodevil13 Thankyou i will try to do that in the future :)

@ysabelle @CuriousCat @sojo @Stablish Thankyou :) I will try to get chapter 2 out this week :)

Takes a lot of courage to put your words out there keep up the good work 😊

@TommyWalsh Okay~ I'll be looking forward to it ^^

I think its awesome, really good atmospher!!

Yes. You hold the audience - more please..... soon!

Wicked Mate keep it up

I really liked it, some good descriptions and I want to know what happens next!

Love it. If that were a start of a book I would buy it straight way.

@Irrational_Kimmi @jacmon Thankyou 😊

Well written and a great start :)

@redfae 😊

@TommyWalsh Great start, your descriptions are excellent and really painted a picture in my mind. I look forward to the next chapter

@TommyWalsh keep going, your off to a great start ;)

Hi @TommyWalsh r u ok

Good stuff! :)

i think its brilliant, really makes me wanna know wat happens next!😺

Great opening to a story! Good pace and leaving the reader asking questions like @Stablish said. Great work!

@waynedoz @Butter @MrAlex @Weirdwolf @Paleflower Thankyou for your support 😊

No problem @TommyWalsh - we are rating neighbours after all!

Rank nor rating. You're not in eBay Wayne.

*not

@waynedoz Oh yeah :) you are six, ive been trying to find number six and number four, do u know number 4???

@TommyWalsh no, don't think so. Perhaps if we both shouted really loudly for them? "4!! Here boy"

@TommyWalsh and you're currently no.5 in today's top posts list... And I'm No.6!! What are you doing to me!? Help! Bar the doors! Nail crooked planks across the windows!

@waynedoz Haha s

@waynedoz * 😜

@waynedoz Not anymore. now u are fourth with Ode To Cake :P hilarious

@TommyWalsh phew! Taking off the planks with the bendy bit at the other end of the hammer.

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