Reality Or Insanity

It's sad how I ache to get to my daily dose of my only hope.
The way I love to feel it fill my lungs with smoke. Burning the back of my throat, constricting my chest.
Leaving my mouth with a dry coat.
Holding it back my best. The sensation rising from my throat to my head and my vision goes black and comes back.
Suddenly everything's so funny, I can't help but laugh.
Anything could be bliss to me with this feeling of security, with a blanket of smoke to hold me. Smolder me.
As everything around comes clear I begin to feel everything I fear.
Smoke to drown you out, forget any doubts, calm myself.
Don't shout.
Anything but the face of reality.
I'd rather live in my mad insanity.
Endless dreams with no seams to be torn.
With the mask of nothingness worn.
Pushing away my emotions making room for my never changing motion.
Standing at the very top, at the ledge.
Waiting to take one last step off the edge.
Ask me to come down and I'll just dive for the ground.
My only hope is to keep the following your sound to safely talk me down.