Sometimes it really hurts. Sometimes I ask myself, what's really wrong with me. I can't seem to find happiness. I can find contentment, within myself, just not happiness. I feel I lack a position in society. I've never been the life and soul of the party. Never been the guy people want to speak with. I've always just sorta, existed.
It's always the same with girls too. I hate liking a particular girl. I hate the feeling of not knowing if she likes me. Or whether or not I can be myself around her as, if I don't like myself then how can anyone else?
I've been single now for closing in on 5 years. It's partially through choice. I don't want to be with someone for the sake of it but then I want to be with someone I really like. And I just can't seem to find a girl who likes me back when I like them. It's usually a girl I don't like likes me or vice versa. I'm not getting any younger either. I just wish I could find happiness in that regard.
Being single is hard sometimes.
This has been a complete ramble of crap, I know that. It's just nice to write thoughts and feelings down I think. Helps sort things out in my head.
If anyone has read this then thanks...I'm sorry! Haha
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