Why do bananas wear sun cream?
Because they might peel!
A man said to a horse,
Why the long face?!
Why are pirates called pirates?
Because they arrrhh!
A father and his son where involved in a car crash, the father was killed but his son stayed alive and got took into hospital for an emergency operation. When he arrived in the surgery theatre the surgeon said "I can't operate on this boy, he's my son." How is this possible?
The surgeon was his mum!
The pencil sharpener said to the pencil,
Stop going round in circles and get to the point!
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No eyed-dear!
What do you call a deer with no eyes that is standing still?
Still no eyed-dear!
The front of Nessie,
The end of a unicorn,
The start of nothing
And the finish of a man.
What am I?
The letter N!
They have no flesh or feathers,
Or scales or bones,
But they have fingers
And thumbs of their own.
What are they?
Gloves!
What can you catch but not throw?
A cold or a disease!
I never was; am always to be;
No one ever saw me, or ever will;
And yet I am the confidence of all
Who live and breath on the Earth's ball.
What am I?
Tomorrow!
They come out at night;
They are lost in the day;
Never seen by sunlight,
But by a moon's ray.
What are they?
Stars!
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