Always an outsider,
Always apart.
Afraid of over-committing,
Of breaking my heart.
Forever kept alone,
Away from a crowd.
Always the quiet one,
Never thought to be loud.
Told to face the fact,
I'm unwanted by all.
There was never a helping hand,
To pick me when I fall.
Keeping all that anger,
Resentment stored inside.
But one day if you look back,
It seems to shrink and hide.
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Curled up in my room I feel so alone. This is just a house it is never my home. Nothing in this feels like I even belong. I sit here asking what i've done wrong.
An unforgiving heart, Paired with broken eyes, Is only the start Of emotional demise. Sneaking brownies in the dark, Silly me. Won't cure an aching heart. I just want to be left be.
I'm looking down, realising. I've reopened wounds from before. Not just from the past week or so. But from all those years ago. That time when I thought I knew how it felt. But now I really know.
I feel like screaming right now. If I don't defend myself then I'll end up defenseless. If I don't scream over the noise and state my cause, then I might as well become mute.
Just wanna. Break free. Return to. The old me. Just wanna. Go away. Where I may hide. My tear-soaked face. Just wanna. Disappear. Where none shall know. I'm near. Closing in. On the edge.
To the majority of people home is a safe place, a sanctuary. To me it's a place where I feel alone, a place where I don't want to be.
No one wants to comfort me. Not my family, not even my own mother. No one will listen to what I have to say. No one cares and no one is concerned about how I feel. They don't understand.
Don't worry, I'll try to keep on smiling. As much as life may hurt me, I'll carry on trying. I hCan you save me. Can you save me from the nothing I've become, come and find me, I need you here.
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