fuck it

she stays in bed all day.
she didn't have to go anywhere.
she could stay in her bed for 24 solid hours and no one would care.
maybe her mom would come check in.
maybe she'd get a text.
probably from someone who thought she was cool.
cool for being sad and messed up.
but it isn't cool.
it is from far away.
but you must remember that everything looks better from far away.
she's trouble.
she's intelligent.
she has secrets.
I wonder what she's thinking.
wow I wish I was as mysterious as her.
she's someone I'd love to know.
she might get texts from people like me, them, us.
I look up to her.
she looks down on herself.
she likes to sleep around.
she doesn't get heartbroken.
she did once, end of that.
now she does the heart breaking.
she does the soul crushing.
she is a black hole.
but everyone loves that.
they love her for being interesting.
they applaud the unusual.
they applaud the twisted.
the applaud her.
she continues to be an ass.
they let her.
they like that she's the villain.
she doesn't care.
that's a load of shit.
she cares.
everyone cares.
when people say fuck it,
they don't mean it.
when people say fuck it,
they should mean it.
we should say fuck it more.
we're limited by our morals.
I won't run away.
I won't steal her date.
I won't lie to my mom.
I won't smoke.
fuck it.
do it.
she does it as much as she can.
well she did.
now she sits around all day.
she's already done everything she can do alone.
now she needs a person that hates the world to raise hell with her.
to run away.
to have unprotected sex.
to get an abortion.
to break laws.
to be a slut for.
to make a sex tape with.
to be wildly irresponsible with.
to do things on impulse.
to do things for that kick.
adrenaline.
do it for the sake of it.
do it because fuck it.
fuck it.
that's what she'll do,
fuck it.
no more sitting around.
she is done with that.
she's sad.
fuck that.
she's lonely.
fuck that.
she's ugly.
fuck that.
she threw her middle fingers to the ceiling of her room and texted a random boy to pick her up.
she said she'll blow him.
why?
because life was getting comfortable
and comfortable isn't excited
comfortable isn't fun
comfortable is boring
one thing she would not be,
boring.
fuck it.
do something stupid